| Taking the advice of someone who's opinion I respect very much, I decided to get this off my chest, in the hope that it helps me rid myself of the bile and disgust. You see, I usually write more for others than for myself. So, I hope that you excuse me as I am going to be selfish and post this to help me. ------------ Fuck you, Jeffrey. Fuck you for not being man. Fuck you for not following through with your responsibility. Fuck you for throwing a friendship away for a few bucks. You took on the responsibility for 6 other peoples' welfare and dreams. As the CEO, you took charge of the business and controlled most of its aspects, but you never understood the full burden that you take on. Anyone with any REAL business sense understands that. They accept the responsibility of their partners' and employees' welfare and dreams. This concept is, of course, beyond you, as your "business experience" is almost totally invented and what is not invented are various spam scams. FUCK YOU JEFFREY. I joined you in this venture, which had all the potential in the world, thinking that our 6 prior years of friendship would be a solid basis upon which to build this company. We worked hard. You treated me very well and I reciprocated, as friends do, but also in hard work and trust. It took us two years. It took me long hours, innovation (NO ONE EVER BROKE MY SECURITY DESIGNS) and sacrifices. I sacrificed two holidays with my family for this company. I sacrificed my savings for this company. I sacrificed my independance and my apartment for this company. I sacrificed my future. All for this project, which had wonderful potential and was poised for a successful sale. When all of us met that August, we had an incredible product. We had a very loyal customer base. We had corporate contacts. We had major sites as partners. We had built something to be proud of -- a successful company. The last step, the very last one, was simply contacting various companies to enquire about a sale. That was your final job. FUCK YOU JEFFREY. How many nights did you cry? How many nights did you lay in your bed hugging one of your little teddy bears, afraid of contacting companies to sell? Your talk was all big, but now we know. You have no REAL business experience... it was all invented so people will look up to you. When it came down to really doing it, you were scared like the fucking little spoilt baby you are. Did you call your mommy? I bet your mommy and daddy are really proud. Oh, but you'll just lie about this like all of your other projects. Tell me, how many times were you hateful to Karen because you couldnt face the fact that you were a failure? Did you hit her some more? You know she loves you with all her heart... she wants you to change from Jeffrey into Jeff. But no, its easier to just lash out at her and hit her. I know you get off on it too. You sick fuck. One of the tenderest hearts I've ever met is there for you no matter what and since you cant get your dick hard and you cant deal with the fact that you are a failure, you hit her. You are a piece of shit. FUCK YOU JEFFREY. At what point did you decide to embezzle? Was it when you cried yourself to sleep for two weeks because you just couldnt contact those companies and simply ask them if they would be interested in purchasing a small cutting edge company? Was it when you were running up against the end of the year and didnt want to have to pay taxes (HEY FUCK, ITS NORMAL FOR C CORPS TO PAY TAXES) because in all of your little schemes it was never "real"? Is that why you bought Karen gifts with the corporation's money? Well, that and you had to make up after beating the shit out of her, didnt you? Oh, and how about those pieces of equipment to fund your next project. You had that all planned out, didnt you? Dump this and find some other suckers. FUCK YOU JEFFREY. I have something now that you can never take away. Your illegal embezzelment and your lying and your utter destruction of all of our dreams has netted me a lot. No, not my sourcecode and designs (ALTHOUGH THAT *IS* MINE SINCE YOU NEVER COMPENSATED ME WITH A SALARY OR SIGNED STOCK CERTS, YOU FUCK), no you know what, its a fresh start. Yup. I'm starting all over. You helped me get to rock bottom. And you know what, from there its all up. Here's some other goodies I get as side benefits. I see through you now... you get to know in your heart of hearts that someone out there has YOU on their LIST and sees through all of your bullshit to the little scared baby that has to lie and pretend to be something he's not and cries and holds his teddy bears when the world gets too scary. No, I didnt lose a friend... you never WERE one, were you? I KNOW YOU NOW. FUCK YOU JEFFREY. You'll never know the good things that you've given me. You'll never know how things have worked out. You wont realize that due to this I've been able to establish an incredibly close tie with my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and nephew. You wont realize that my mom and I were able to make amends after years of ugly indifference on her part and hatred on my part. You wont realize how I've been able to be here for my Dad and his new wife Janet during their special time together where they are happy at last. And you'll never know what its meant to me to be able to be with my grandma these past few months before the cancer she doesnt know she carries eats away the last of her spirit. And that's just now. You realize that I'm moving to a new place? I'll be out of the old ruts. Things are going to explode with me. Because, guess what? I've realized that I AM a good looking, funny, intelligent, desireable, and sexy man. There are women who are INTERESTED in me for more than a good friend. I'm realizing it and believing it for the first time in my life. I'm getting in shape, I'm gonna look even better than I do now. I'm going to be so active, not just with normal sports, but with nature, reconnecting like it was in the old days. And yes, like the old days, I'm going to reconnect to *THAT* too (WHICH MEANS *FEAR ME*, YOU FUCK). And to top it all off, I'm on the verge of finding someone VERY special... I can feel it. I'm almost through Chapel Perilous now. I've almost crossed the ABYSS. I've got a few more trials to face. I will need to leave my fear behind, but I know I can do this. I can face this final Daemon. And when I do, I'll be lookin back from the other side of DAATH mutherfucker and I'll be pitying your pathetic ass. ------------ Thank you, Exhaust, you were right :-) --Grue |
