I've always felt that relationships have six phases. Please forgive my simplistic, idealistic view. Here are the phases that I've observed. I've labelled these phases thusly:
1. Meeting
2. Discovery
3. Infatuation
4. Dating
5. Commitment
6. Co-existance
Meeting is obviously the first interaction between you two and whether in person or online there are some basic trait filtering that's done. Discovery is the process of finding more about the person and getting a feel for if they are husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, or just-friends material. Infatuation is the next step which tests the sexual waters and the intellectual and emotional compatibility. Dating is regular companionship to further Discovery and to enjoy the fruits of Infatuation. Commitment comes with exclusive dating and the relationship becomes "serious". And lastly co-existance is commitment on a long-term basis in which you may get married, or live together, but basically make a semi-permanent commitment to share significantly in each other's lives.
Well, tonight I came up with a new phase that I call pre-commitment. This occurs after infatuation and somewhere during the dating process in which although there is no formal commitment to exclusiveness between the couple, you feel as though you are semi-committed. For example, you may not look at women in the same way. You may not scan the singles sites for guys as much or find them as interesting. This is a very subtle phase but I believe its very important. It can give you a safe step on the way of commitment that if equally met by the couple gives a strong basis for (and a shorter step up to) commitment.
Now I'm a pretty emotional guy and reading this, you might interpret this as a cold and rational analysis of a phenomenon that is *not* govererned by rationalism. That, however is far from the truth... this model is something that I put together in watching people and looking at the human interactive dynamic... but now I find myself applying it to my own life and its an interesting litmus test upon which I can keep one toe on the ground and gauge how fast things are moving for me and where I'm at and if I'm ready for what's ahead.
I'm ready.
--Grue
